Every Day in May

So it's been a few weeks since we traveled around the country and I'm finding it a little more difficult to resist old habits as time goes by.  I didn't make it to the gym Friday morning - no big deal, it's just one day right?.  Then Monday comes around and when I woke up it was raining.  Well, when it rains I have a hard time starting my car so why bother getting up early to deal with that.  I might as well sleep in and go to the gym after work (which I didn't).  Seriously, that was my excuse - it was raining!  I had also promised myself that I was going to plan my meals for the week and go grocery shopping.  Yeah, didn't do that either.  That's when all the negative self talk starts to happen.  I've always thought I was a positive person and I think on the outside I am but one of the things I found out on this trip is that I'm pretty negative to myself.  I never realized how badly I treat myself.  While traveling across the country Brian had me focus on all the positive things that were happening.  Not only what we were accomplishing but how that made me feel.  I can honestly say I have never felt better in my life - I was nowhere near where I wanted to be in terms of my weight but for the first time that didn't matter.  I was more than a number on the scale and I told myself that everyday.  I knew I didn't want that feeling to go away and I promised myself I would keep it going once I got back to "normal" life.  Well, all day Monday I kept telling myself how bad I was doing - I didn't work out, I didn't plan my meals - I was failing - again.  Wait, what?  This is my life.  It's not a pass/fail situation.  I'm still the same person I was two weeks ago.  I climbed mountains, I ran across bridges.  Why do I let little set backs overshadow all the good things?  I guess because old habits are comfortable.  It's what we're used to.  It doesn't mean they can't be changed though.  It'll just take a little time.